-There are good people in the world. Actually, seriously GREAT people. If you've never had someone hold your hand while you slip in and out of consciousness or rush you to the ER in a city you've never been too because of your life threatening symptoms, you don't know great people. These girls know what it's like to be sick so they know what I need. I can literally say that they have saved my life.
-It's okay to rely on someone! When you're living with a progressive disease, you have no choice but to accept help. No matter how old you are, you want to hold onto your independence but it's not always that simple. My best friend drives over an hour multiple times a week to drive me places because I am unable to do so myself. It took me a long time to learn to ask for help and having someone who will pass no judgments makes it that much easier.
-It's okay to share your feelings, even when they are scary. Another thing about being chronically ill is the fact that its impossible to talk truthfully to someone without feeling like a burden. I've been friends with my best friend for a year now and she has a hard time talking about things to me because she thinks I have it worse. And I always say to her that suffering is relative. Your thoughts, fears, and opinions MATTER for no other reason than that YOU matter because you exist. Don't ever be fearful of sharing your full self, because believe it or not, I want to hear it. You, and I, we are not burdens.
-Friends are the family you choose for yourself. Don't get me wrong, I have a good family who likes to help, but it feels more like a nurse and patient relationship and they seem to be upset by my needs for certain things. I think they are terrified of what I am becoming. My friends don't care if I have to bring my walker to a concert. They don't mind face timing me for hours because that's the only thing we are able to do and they pass no judgments for the adaptations I use to make my life easier. They even defend me to "cops" who don't understand my need for a parking pass. When you share something as intimate as a chronic illness, your friendship is that much stronger. They don't get upset or feel distant because they know exactly what your situation is.
-It’s okay to fall apart. You are going through an incredibly trying time that likely will not get better anytime soon. Facing the reality of that is not negative, it’s realistic. It's okay to get upset and cry. It's okay not to be okay.
-And lastly to always hold yourself accountable. Hold yourself accountable for your feelings and actions. My friends remind me to come back down to earth. They always entertain my dreams but they make sure to let me know when it's gotten out of hand. Yes, I will have that dream job and that dream house but not until I get through the nitty gritty stuff, and they always make sure I do.
I know my non-ill friends do their best, but they have their own lives to live. They are not aware of my situation because they've never experienced it, and I would never wish them to. But living with a chronic disease forces you to grow up. It forces you to learn lessons way beyond your years and others living with these diseases simply understand that, and they are learning them right along with you.
And to prove that I’m not the only one whose life has been enriched through my disorders, here are some quotes about what my fore mentioned friends have learned from other sick people:
“My friends have taught me that It’s possible to live happily despite struggling with chronic illnesses” ~Sarah Utterback
“Giving up is never an option. Strength comes from love and support.” ~Dalia Chokr
“My friends with chronic illnesses have shown me clear and true friendship, the kind where you would do anything for one another. They put the pieces of me together that I don’t always understand because together, our messy chaos makes sense.” ~ Ashley Graydon