I don't believe everything happens for a reason and I won't pretend that I do just to comfort others. I doubt there is some cosmic plan behind my disease. I don't think I am here for anything big and bright and life changing. I do, however, know I can make a difference. With work and love and generosity, I can accomplish amazing things and who knows...maybe these diseases will make it easier to do this by opening up doors that were closed before.
I think everyone has the ability to be great, but it's not a matter of being given certain struggles, it's about choosing what you turn your struggles into. There is always a choice.
I always get frustrated when people tell me to keep my chin up or to keep my spirits high. And I do a 180 and become even angrier when I speak my truth and they tell me to be more positive. You can't win. Positivity has it's place and it is a fantastic tool if you use it correctly, but a lot of people use it as a way to block out the harsh light of reality. I've noticed this a lot in my family. No one wants to talk about where I am going to live when I am 30 and I am still too sick to work. No one wants to talk about the possibility of planning their daughter's funeral. They pin all their hopes and dreams on the thought that, maybe, one day, I will wake up all better or discover a treatment that will cure me.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you should spend your life worrying about when you'll croak, because we all know that worrying can rob tomorrow of it's triumphs. But hope will do the same thing. Blind hope and faith will make each hit you take, 100 times harder, heavier, and faster. Life is not a fairy tale. It's messy and so rough around the edges and trying to surround yourself with rainbows will rob you of the beauty in the brokenness.
I don't intend to face this life with blinders on. I want to know what I am up against and what could be around the corner, even if it's a giant, mean, monster of a reality.
All you can do is put one foot in front of the other and forge your own path. Smile, cry, scream, curse...do what you must to survive. Take a moment to breath. It's your life, your story, do what you can to live a life you are proud of, even if it is riddled with disease.